Tuesday, September 28, 2010

and now it starts to hurt.

it was your birthday on the weekend, 2 hours before it hit midnight you texted me saying that all you wanted on your birthday was to see me. i didn't text back. you texted me in the morning, saying it was rude of me to not wish you a 'happy birthday' you mentioned how we were together for years and that you wanted to hear from you. i didn't text back, possibly because i was with him. i thought about texting you all day, i tried to imagine what you would be doing and if you we're happy. which i came to the conclusion you would be. after thinking  about you almost all day i did it. i sent the text i had thought out over and over in my mind. and then you didn't text back. if i'm honest with myself it hurt me a little, you'd made a big deal about me not texting you and then you do it back to me. so i texted you again. but this time you texted back. "go away. your not wanted"... "i was fucked when i texted you" i didn't text you again after that. but yesterday you texted me again. "even on my birthday i couldn't help but ball my eyes out about you in front of everyone. i had a beer bud lines they even got me a fucking cake with 19 candles! and i still broke down just because i wanted to see you. the last few texts you got were from jonea i told her to take my phone, i don't know what she said because she deleted the texts. you know the 3 last words </3"  that text made me warm inside. it made me miss you more. it made me want to see you. i was so relieved to find out it was your bitch texting me instead of you. the last few days, you've been on my mind a lot more. i don't have to wonder if you think about me, because i know you do all the time. the songs are starting to get to me, just like they did before. humes. it's starting to hurt to see them when i walk down the street, just the other day i was walking to the dairy with kane and i saw one and i swear i almost shed a tear. we shared something so strong, something so irreplacable. i really do wish it didn't have to be like this, i wish we could talk like we used to, but we can't. i know i'm going to end up seeing you sometime soon, even if i say i'm not going to. because i just need you now.

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