if i am honest; yes, i do miss you. so fucking much. yes, i do love you. you know i always will. yes, it does hurt to find out what you do these days. yes, you'll always be apart of me. even if i hate you, even if my body is shaking from the anger i feel towards you & the life i was living; i still love you. but i don't show it, i don't show it to anyone. i keep it locked up inside of me, along with all the memories, the kisses, the smiles, the fights, the tears, the personal jokes, the pain, the love. i keep telling myself over & over "i am stronger than this, i am stronger than you will ever be." i force myself to forget you, i force the tears deep down inside, where no one can find them. no one except for us. even though there is no more 'us', there always will be. it will always be you and it will always be me. in the back of my mind, till the ends of time. just thinking about you i'm loosing my breathe, i'm gasping for air, my body begs for you. but i will not give in. never again.