Monday, October 11, 2010
i didn't mean to hurt you.
it wasn't for your eyes to read, it wasn't intended to hurt you, it was meant to be a way for me to get my thoughts out of my head; so i could have some peace of mind, so i didn't have to deal with the feelings he made me feel. i was hiding the way i felt to save you from the pain of knowing i still cared for him, i didn't want you to get hurt. i thought i had hurt you enough from the drama's with him. so i lied. i told you i didn't love him, even though i do. but the thing is; i fucking hate it. i fucking hate the way i feel about him. i want to shove my feelings into a little black box and burn it along with the photo's and the letters and the memories of what was us. for almost a year now i have wished for nothing less than my feelings for him to disappear. but they haven't. although; everyday i spend with you, another piece of me that loves him is destroyed. i'm so sorry. i was trying so hard not to hurt you, i didn't expect you to read it.