Tuesday, November 9, 2010

things change.

i checked my voice messages today, which i never do. and i wish i never had. you had left me one, at 3 in the morning, probably high as fuck on whatever you could get your hands on. your voice was heavy and slurred, it was obvious to me you had been crying, and you said 'i love you' after hearing those words come out of my phone, i threw it across my room, i went outside and had a smoke. now; i'm really pissed off, and i don't know why, but i think it's interesting that even though it was only 3 little words, that held so much meaning now make me angry, they make me want to break things. once apon a time those 3 little words used to help me get to sleep at night, along with you, they used to mean the world to me, they used to help me breathe deeper and calm me down, they used to be the only words i ever wanted to hear escape your lips. and now; i can't stand them. despite the fact i know you mean it and i know i love you too, coming from you? those words irritate me. isn't it interesting how life can change so drastically. i never thought i'd see the day where i wanted nothing to do with you, but i know it's for the best. this way; i can be happy, without you. even if sometimes it hurts, you are not good enough for me, or my life. and i wish i'd done this sooner.

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