i know you don't understand what it's like to want to cause yourself pain, or what it's like to think about ending your life almost everyday; and a huge part of me is grateful you don't think like that. but, instead of judging me for the way my mind works; can you please help me. i've been crying out for help in my own sheltered way for a few months now, when i should have just come to you; unfortunately i didn't feel comfortable enough to admit my mind to you, and now i wish i had. instead of looking at me like i'm less of person for this; can you please help me fight it. instead of blaming yourself; can you please help me. i need you. even though i don't say it; i need you.