Friday, December 17, 2010

we wouldn't be sisters if we didn't fight.

i feel completely terrible, because i don't know how to mend your heart, or heal your wounds. i don't know how to stop the pain, or the emptiness you feel inside. ever since the day i met you, all i have ever wanted was to help and make you smile. i don't know how to stop the people that walk in and out of your life, promising to make you smile, but leaving you even more broken than before. i don't know how to stop you hurting yourself, whether it's with razor blades, drugs or alcohol. i don't know how to get through to you how fucking terrified i am about you, because you don't listen. i don't know how to tell you that your making it worse when you think your making it better. i don't know how to tell you that when you hurt, i hurt. i don't know how to tell you that sometimes, you can be really fucking horrible and i can't stand it. i don't know how to tell you that i despise some of the things you say and do. i don't know how to tell you that when you guilt trip me, it makes me sick, because i know better than anyone how traumatic your life can be, and to try and use it against me? to make me feel bad? isn't right, at all. i don't know how to tell you that you can be the biggest fucking hypocrite sometimes. there are so many things i don't know how to do, or say to you. because i am afraid of what you will say, or what you might do; i'm afraid of loosing you. but there is one sentence that will never be any easier for me to say to you. i love you. despite our arguments, and our floors. i love you, unconditionally.

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