Saturday, January 8, 2011

you are going to be okay.

"i cut myself everyday he doesn't text me" "stop fucking cutting yourself! what does it achieve? nothing. absolutely nothing. does it bring him back? no. does it make you feel any better? no. all it does is leave another reminder that he's no longer around and i'm sure as hell that you don't need that!" look, i'm sorry if i sounded harsh, i didn't mean to sound like a bitch, or like i didn't care. and i know for a fact i upset you because you told my boyfriend about it. but when you come to me seeking attention like that, and i'm sorry but that's exactly what you were doing by saying that to me; how did you expect me to react? did you expect me to be casual about it? 'yeah that's fine, i don't mind, go ahead, cause yourself even more pain than you already have.' uhhh, no. i'm not like that. yeah, i might have sounded a little harsh, but by the looks of things; no one else is going to give you the kind of kick in the butt you need to make you snap out of this; so it might as well be me. by the looks of things, everyone is just going to feel sorry for you. but what good does that do? does it make you feel better when everyone just feels sorry for you all the time? maybe for a while. but i've been where you are, i've felt the pain, i've spilled the tears, i've crawled into a ball each night and wished my life was over, but do you know what i did? i stood up, i put my big girl boots on and i smiled. i looked at all the beautiful things in my life, and i smiled, i was thankful for everything good in my life, all the people who are there for me, and i smiled, i thought about all the amazing times we shared, and i smiled. i pushed passed the tears, and the emptiness i felt inside my heart, and i smiled. because believe it or not, you're going to be okay, you're going to move on, and yes it's going to take time, but you're going to be okay. don't get me wrong, it hurts like a bitch, it fucking hurts more than people realise, and it feels like it's never going to fade. but it will, each and every day it will get easier for you, and you will start to notice all of the beautiful things around you, and you will smile. but for now; i want you to remember that you are beautiful, you are better than that, your stronger than that, and i know that you know are too. there are so many people that care about you, we all know how strong you are and none of us want to see you in pain. so please, please, please, stop hurting yourself.

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