the whole time we were together in the back of my mind, there were two thoughts running through my head; 'fuck, i hope he doesn't see them' and 'i love you' i was trying so hard to hide them from you, but in the second i let go and forgot what i was trying to hide, you saw. i knew straight away from the look on your face, a look i dread to see, and now it's burning a hole in my brain. i know how you feel about self harm, and all i can say is FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKK. what have i done! i'm so angry at myself, and it just makes me want to do it more. but your smile, your smile alone; is stopping me. i'm so sorry, i lost control of myself. i don't know what else i can say.