Saturday, April 30, 2011

i'm loosing my grip.

i don't know how to stop what's happening to me, mainly because i don't know what's happening to me, within me. i'm constantly angry, at everything and everyone, including myself. i'm always on the verge of breaking down, and not standing back up. i don't feel like myself anymore, or feel like i know myself either. there hasn't been a moment within the last few weeks where i haven't felt sad, or lonely; even when i'm surrounded by people, and i'm laughing. sometimes i feel like everything is caving in on me, i imagine that there is a thick black cloud closing in around me, there is no where to run, there is no where to hide, and when it finally hits; what if i'm not stronge enough to fight it? what if i'm too weak to face it? what happens then? all i know is; this isn't me.

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