what the fuck was i thinking? what the fuck is wrong with me? why the fuck would i want to makes things worse? why must i self sabotage the realtionships that mean the most to me? why must i destroy what i see as beautiful? why did i have to create a problem where there was none? it's times like these that i remember why people hate me. you were trying so hard, and now i've given a reason to give up. what the fuck. what the fuck. what the fuck.