Thursday, August 25, 2011

just breathe.

it's too hard to think about, let alone talk about it, or write about it.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

hopelessly devoted.

the last time i saw a shooting star; i was lying in your arms, in the grass, our clothes were drenched in our own tears. we were looking up at the patch of sky we could see from the tunnel of trees around us, i was doubting, and you were reassuring me. as soon as you said the words "baby, i know we can be perfect again" a shooting star shot across the sky. we saw it as a miracle, our sign. tonight; when i was halfway through a sentence, i saw another shooting star. this time i wasn't talking about us, i was talking about the plan we had for our future. almost four years ago now; we planned out our wedding day, and we'd agreed on the name of our children. and tonight; as soon i said the name of our son 'jacob' another shooting star shot across the sky. my heart lit up, my eyes opened up a little wider, and the curves of my mouth were pointing upwards. we saw that shooting star as a miracle, as a sign. and i can't help but believe that this is another sign, a sign saying "hold on, all is not lost." a sign saying "don't give up."

Monday, August 1, 2011

you bring me back to reality.

"why would you think this wouldn't affect me?" "i don't know, i just thought you we're angry at me for my drunken one night stand." "are you kidding me. you think i'm that selfish to think about myself. i am so scared for you, i know where your headed and it's fucking horrible. i've been there, you wont be able to handle it. you need to stop. please, i'm begging you. you have to stop ok. i know you, and this isn't you. do you like who your becoming? do you like being this person?" "no not at all, i hate myself more and more each day. i'm destroying my life and i don't know why, i don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. i need to stop, i can't go down this road, i don't think i could survive it. i'm disgusted with myself, and it just keeps getting worse. i need your help, i can't do this on my own." "i'm not going anywhere, i'm right here. but you need to cut this shit out ok. i can't bare watching you do this to yourself. i need you just as much as you need me."